When Words Fail a Writer

The last time I wrote in this space I reported completing the rough draft of my next novel. That was December 5, 2012, and I was looking forward to reviewing the year past and honoring the work I’d completed over the year as well as that of my clients who published books as well. Then, nine days later, an armed gunman entered the halls of my son’s school, Sandy Hook Elementary, and blew apart our world.

My son’s godmother lost one of her sons, a little boy we loved greatly and whom Tain referred to as his “godbrother.” Our grief was and is unspeakable. I continued to repeat those words in the ensuing days as we fielded a torrent of calls from the media, some from former colleagues asking me to write about the event. “I have no words,” I told them. There I was, just about to celebrate a year of writing more than I’d written in the previous six years and suddenly it had all stopped. I had no words.

This grief is still fresh. We are less than eight weeks out and still trying to find this supposed “new normal.” However, I am grateful and surprised to feel the words returning. It began with a light shone unexpectedly at the end of December, right before I was scheduled to return to the Vermont College of Fine Arts for winter residency. I received an email from the author Gerald Duff. I had written a review of his novel, Blue Sabine, in the new issue of the literary journal The Mid-American Review and he had just read it. He wrote:

“I want to thank you for your wonderfully perceptive review of Blue Sabine, your insight into what I tried to do in the book, and your taking the time to think deeply and write so gracefully about another person’s work. You have got the goods, to put it simply, as a writer and critic. And I’m looking forward to reading your fiction. Given what I see here in your ability to fathom human intent, desire, failure and triumph, I know that what you put into your fiction will reverberate and shine.”

It took me a moment to realize, to remember, Mr. Duff was talking about me. I had been on a path before the morning of December 14–a path taking me on a glorious exploration of my abilities as a writer. In the midst of my own grief and helping our friends through theirs that path seemed a world away, irrecoverable. Suddenly here was help, like bread crumbs on the road, to show me I could find my way back to it again. And sure enough, the words are beginning to return, little by little. It will take time to see what these words become.

Until then, right now, I will honor the work done in 2012: the novel completed, the short stories and essays written, two published and one receiving an Honorable Mention in the Glimmer Train Fiction Open, and my appearance as a contributor in O, the Oprah Magazine, More Magazine, the New York Times.com and Numéro Cinq. I also say congratulations to clients and students of mine who have published or are about to publish:

Managing the Moment: A Leader’s Guide to Building Executive Presence One Interaction at a Time by Lisa Parker is being published this spring. Lisa was a private book coaching client and a student in my Self-Publishing 101 class.

What’s Your Rate?: How to Buy a Home and Secure Your Financial Future at the Same Time by Mark Maiocca came out last summer. Mark was a private client.

Be True Rich: 3 Simple Keys to Live Your Good Life Now by Katherine C.H.E. is newly published. Katherine attended my Writing Books That Change Lives Workshop.

Living Happier After: 20 Women Talk About Life After Divorce by Wilma Jones. Wilma also attended the Books That Change Lives Workshop.

If you would like assistance with your book project, please know I probably won’t take on any new clients until the spring. You may still send inquiries and get on my waiting list if you think you’ll be ready to go then. I hope you and I will be blessed with many, many, more words as the year goes on, and that we will continue to create work that will change lives.

Best wishes,